Save Me
by Remmy37
Summary: I bring the razor down to my skin and drag.  Nothing happens.  Okay.  I just didn't push hard enough.  sexual assault and self harm


**Disclaimer: **I do not own the plot, characters, or anything related to the Naruto series.

I sat on the couch staring at the tie-dye pictures on the TV screen. Tenten and Kiba had found out that I'd only ever smoked pot once and that I'd been too drunk even remember it.

That's how I ended up sitting in Kiba's apartment, watching this colorful movie while he slept and Tenten puked up all the sushi from earlier in his bathroom. I definitely felt the effects of the drug this time, but I wanted to do something fun. Not watch Kiba sleep while Tenten puked in the next room.

I texted Sakura "Wanna go do something? I'm bored."

"I thought you were smoking with Tenten and Kiba…" she sent her reply almost immediately.

"I was, but now I'm bored. Hang out with me!"

"I'm at Kabuto's, you can come over if you want."

I hated Kabuto, he was weird and he was always hanging out with Sakura. I was high though, and had nothing to do, so it sounded like a good idea. "Be there in a bit then! "

"I'm here!" I shouted as I barged into Kabuto's crappy apartment.

Sakura jumped me as soon as she heard me "Kabuto's making long island iced teas! Want some?"

"Sure, are they good?" usually I only drank beer, so mixed drinks were new to me.

"They're amazing, don't even taste like alcohol. You'll love them!" I agreed and we set to drinking. After we'd had two or three Sakura decided we should dance.

We turned on some Avril and set to dancing around the apartment, Kabuto just watched on in amusement. After he seemed to tire of watching us dance, he suggested we smoke some hookah. At first I refused, claiming I'd already smoked pot earlier; but he said it was just flavored tobacco. Not one to turn down a new experience, I readily agreed.

Turns out, I loved the hookah. It gave me a _ton _of energy, but it just put Sakura to sleep.

Kabuto and I decided to hang out on the couch until we were finally tired. He made me another drink and everything around me stared looking a little fuzzy. I decided I should probably just go to sleep and not drink anymore.

But then he pulled out Sakura's peach wine. She was sleeping and he didn't like it, so I figured it shouldn't go to waste. I drank it all. That's when he started kissing me.

At first I pushed him away, but then I decided I was drunk anyways. A drunk make out session with someone doesn't count. I got up to use the restroom, hoping Sakura would wake up as I walked past. She didn't.

When I came back out, he was still there. I told him we should go to bed, he just nodded and grabbed me. I only remember blackness and then dreaming about two people having sex. Slowly those two people turned into me and him. It was then that I realized he was inside of me.

"Get out!" he looked down at me, obviously confused. After a short pause he got up to lock the door. As he walked past me towards his room, he gave the most vicious look I've ever seen.

That's why I'm here now, razor in hand. I don't know if it will make me feel better, but it works for people on TV right? Why not for me.

I bring the razor down to my skin and drag. Nothing happens. Okay. I just didn't push hard enough.

I try again. That works. It hurts. But I'm thinking about the pain instead of Kabuto.

Again. Again. Again. Again.

This works. I may be a dirty messed up whore now, but I'm not thinking about it now. AGAIN!

I feel better.

"Dobe, what happened to your wrist?" Sasuke says as he grabs my arm.

"It's nothing, I was just playing with Sakura's cat." Sasuke gives me a suspicious look but drops it.

I better hide it better next time. But I hope he notices again. I hope someone will be there to save me.

**Author's Note:**

Hi all. I just had to get this off my chest. This happened to me almost two years ago now. I'm in counseling (finally). I can't bring myself share it with friends or family, so why not strangers? I know my writing style isn't awesome, but I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!


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